Naithy Cyriac is an example of how dedicated, sustained practice of the +influence principles has had a deep impact, raising her +influence skills and excavating the leader in her.
Attending the LIFE2 program in November 2015 helped her to overcome fears and see herself as someone who could pioneer the Myanmar business of her firm and unleash the entrepreneur in herself — a vast departure from the shy girl from India who took her first-ever international flight in 2012 to study at the NUS Business School. This is her story: how she stretched and owned her true self and leveraged +influence principles and her being (see Chapter 10) to help her clients and grow her team. “Being able to step back and focus on strengths shifted my approach, and my being. I moved away from a ‘what could fail’ mentality.”
Naithy and Huijin would joke about the time she wanted to drop out of the pilot +influence course at NUS Business School. She kept going for some reason, and neither Huijin nor Naithy could have predicted she would become such an avid practitioner of +influence.
Upon her graduation, Naithy surprised Tsun-yan and Huijin by going to Myanmar with her consulting firm, and when she came to LIFE2 in November 2015, she brought the question of whether to take up the leadership role for that office. Myanmar was growing rapidly in 2015, a Wild West of sorts. Naithy’s pioneering spirit was in full swing.
Through deep reflection and intense peer high challenge high support, Naithy realized that the key issue she needed to address was her own inner struggles related to self-doubt or self-worth. Her fears led to a debilitating hesitation to embrace the responsibility wholeheartedly, to stretch herself. When she asked herself more deeply “Can I do it? Do I want to do it?”, she realized the answer was yes and yes.
Shortly after, Naithy became the country manager of Myanmar for her firm and went to build a vibrant business and team there from scratch.
“LIFE2 helped me to be more confident. Less self-doubt on how to execute and follow through. More self-leadership, willing to step up to do more. I took the risk of asking for a promotion/more responsibility and received an immediate and positive response. The influence approaches I learned before helped me secure both the support of the partners and the company founder, which I am very grateful for. As I embraced the new role, I embraced situations that would stretch my “sense of being,” pushing me toward my better self.“
“LIFE2 also helped me hit my sales targets by establishing trusted relations with new clients. It took a while for me to get comfortable. LIFE2’s principle of “defining your own apex” — doing what you are best at — was a great help. I love meeting people and hence, instead of adopting an aggressive sales approach, I focused on establishing a meaningful relationship with potential clients, taking time to build rapport, which is what I am good at.“
Tsun-yan and Huijin were especially delighted to hear from Naithy on her efforts to coach her team and help them grow. Out of all the LIFE2 alumni, she has probably done the most on this front. Again, unexpected, especially considering her young age and the tough demands of growing a business from scratch. Her seriousness and sustained intention and action in coaching others is unusual even for far more mature leaders.
“Hi Huijin, hope you’re doing well. I was promoted again last Thursday, and the unique factor that influenced the decision as per the partner’s feedback was my coaching/training of the juniors, especially the new hires and their comparative performance after their first project with me. This really touched my heart, so wanted to share this with you and thank you, Tsun-yan, Anna, and especially Rohan and Dany79 for inculcating this quality in me and, more importantly, giving me multiple opportunities to experiment with my leadership styles and observe the students… I still want to do better, e.g., in equipping others with the influencing skill set I have now, in a customized way.“
We are always a work in progress in becoming our best self. Sometimes, we may even become our worst self, when we have had a huge setback, or the environment brings out our worst qualities. All of us will fall into a ditch at times. What differentiates people is how fast they get out of it and where they go after the ditch. Self-leadership makes or breaks people’s response in a ditch moment:
- The deliberate practice of influencing your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors toward your objectives.
- A learned discipline to access your inner being and motivations to deploy for that influence. ·
- A habit of mind.
There is a saying that you can’t change what happens to you, but you can control how you respond. This applies to even the most powerful CEOs and politicians.
In an uncontrollable VUCA environment, equipping ourselves as best as we can to do the best in more contexts can give us a sense of purpose, of having some influence over our life instead of being at the mercy of circumstances or other people. This sense of agency can be like night and day to our inner life, whether we have positive energy every day versus feeling like a victim drowning in anger and despair.
Note: This story is from chapter 9, page 143, of Positive Influence: First and Last Mile of Leadership by Tsun-yan Hsieh and Huijin Kong.
