“It’s time to take a shot and I am not throwing away my shot.” – lyrics from Lin Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton, Shoot my Shot
Effective +influencers seize far more moments that ineffective +influencers do. And in the process of ‘taking their shot’, they produce a differentiated positive outcome. We can all pinpoint important meetings and conversations that will be coming up in the coming year – a performance review, a final pitch to win over a client, the last round in an interview for a job etc. But if we were asked to pinpoint the discrete moments within these interactions that will determine the outcome of the interaction, most people might be as Tsun-yan and Huijin describe as “a lot less clear” (+Influence, Chapter 8). Tsun-yan and Huijin describe these critical +influence moments as moments of uncertainty, and hence possibility, that shape the trajectory of whether a positive influence outcome can be obtained. For more on preparing for these moments by gaining clarity on the situation, read Chapter 8 +Influencing in the Moment)
Most people would be able to identify these critical moments in retrospect. When I replay failed +influence attempts when I’m reflecting or with other friends and mentors, I can identify the exact moments where I may have not brought my best +influence game to the interaction and justify the negative outcome that came out of that interaction. I can pin-point where the interaction fell through and I failed in my +influence attempt. Although it is great to be able to identify those moments as they past, it is far better to anticipate and seize them in the future.
Making the decision to consciously act and take your shot when it presents itself has often proven to be beneficial, yet many people also shy away from it. As the popular adage go, you fail 100% of the shots you don’t take. How to lean in to seize the moment(s) requires a lot of self mastery, and understanding of the context and pressure points.
Hamilton’s Aaron Burr describes his political rival Alexander Hamilton as someone who “does not hesitate” and “exhibits not restraint” to keep jumping for every opportunity that he is presented with. Hamilton takes the ‘the riskier’ opportunities when they come as compared to Burr’s own cautious political career who would rather “hold all his plans close to his chest” and “see where the wind would blow.” (Hamilton, Non-stop). Burr laments that Hamilton is not only winning but that he is also “changing the game”. Hamilton is able to “thrive [in the new political US environment] when so few survive” (Hamilton, Wait for It) and Hamilton’s political career witnesses an unprecedented rise as George Washington’s right hand man.
After soaking in +influence principles and stories for a few months, recently I went against my tendencies and leaned in to seize a +influence moment. There was a tense exchange where I was caught in the middle of two parties and a nasty dispute. As the most objective party in this dispute, I could see that although both sides do have valid points, both parties were not conducting themselves well and the relationship had long deteriorated past repair. As I read the exchanges, I debated waiting for someone else (preferably more senior) than myself to step in and resolve the issue, since I was comparatively much younger and lower ranked than both parties. Or initiate contact after waiting for a while and after the high emotions blew over. However, instead of waiting, I took a shot in the dark to reach out to both parties to conduct a meeting to mediate for a solution. I had the feeling if I delayed in replying, no one else would either, and the relationship would deteriorate much further and not be resolved at all.
For someone like myself, who spends most time in my head – deliberating pros and cons and possible outcomes, the uncertainty of how things will actually turn out creates a lot of anxiety and I become frozen in place. Unfortunately, the only advice for such people is this: you have to jump in and get started. Tsun-yan writes “Inaction is a choice. When uncertainty reigns, the far greater danger is to stop and wait until uncertainty resolves. It may not. And those who choose to act are the ones who will +influence the outcomes. (+influencing in the Moment, page 117)
Every moment seized by a +influencer becomes momentum in the pursuit of +influence. While the situation between both parties has not resolved fully, but because I seized the moment, I managed to leave communication open between myself and both parties and as long as open communication exists between myself and those parties individually, perhaps there will be an opportunity for an eventual resolution.
- Can you spot an +influence moment as it is unfolding before you?
- What stops you from taking your shot at a +influence attempt?
- How do you cope with uncertainty? What could encourage and empower you to lean in more into the uncertainty to shape things?
