Huijin would not be described as a highly caring person, but she has put in 15 years of conscious effort to uncover the caring and emotional side of herself, in service of her personal mission to help others find their whole and true self and channel that toward better decisions and actions in their career, business, family, and society.
Leaving her home country to immigrate to Canada was traumatic. Her parents struggled economically and emotionally, and 10-year-old Huijin repressed her pain and fear. It was the only way a child could cope. She reached into her natural aggression and strove to survive, first excelling academically and then being single-minded in her career. While she reached the pinnacle of the world’s best schools and companies quickly, she still wasn’t happy; in fact, she didn’t even know what it felt like to be happy. All this changed in her mid-twenties when her inner self caught up with her. She reconnected to her feeling side and to her soul and spirit that was crying out for expression. She gave up her first career as a strategic consultant, jumping into the risky open sea to pursue her mission to help others, no matter where it took her — success or failure. Caring still doesn’t come naturally to her as it does for Tsun-yan, who is a Helper in the Enneagram personality profile, but she consciously reaches within herself to care about others in her own way, with her unique value-add. She will never be a warm and fuzzy big sister kind of helper, but she is a warrior on your side who will help you face the reality and tumult with courage and inner strength. Many people helped her on her journey to uncover her true self, and she vowed to do the same for at least one million people throughout her lifetime.
“It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.” — John Joseph Powell
With caring, one can then be curious about another person’s way of thinking and feeling about a situation or organization, respect the difference between yourself and the other person, and use that knowledge to design influencing paths that respect each person’s different starting point. A big mistake of many well-intended people is assuming, or even insisting, that other people think and feel the same way. This fallacy has no logical basis but comes from deep within us, a combination of ego, wishful thinking, and expediency. The more deeply we believe in ourselves and our purpose and intent, the more deeply we could be susceptible to this misperception that everyone is like us, or should be like us. “Should” is a dangerous word in +influence, since the world and human beings don’t work on “should.” Curiosity is the antidote to “should” and is something all serious +influencers need to cultivate and deepen.
Note: This story is from chapter 9, page 128, of Positive Influence: First and Last Mile of Leadership by Tsun-yan Hsieh and Huijin Kong.
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